Inspired to stand firm

Bullying is the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. The act of bullying, whether emotional, physical and/or ‘virtual’ (online), is one which persistently intimidates, harasses, victimises and/or humiliates a person, thereby causing them distress. Constructive criticism – advice given to a person on their actions to help them progress – can be confused with bullying, depending on how it is delivered. For example, a professional dancer performing in a show may be given supportive but quite harsh feedback from a temperamental Artistic Director after a show. The feedback may be extremely direct but informative, and by reflecting on it the dancer may be able to improve their technique and move forward in the next performance. The dancer may be left feeling sensitive about the direct criticism, but also feeling empowered to dance confidently again and try to impress their Artistic Director. Contrast this with the example of a Marketing Director who is given insurmountable workloads and regularly shouted down and intimidated by an aggressive Chief Executive in weekly meetings in front of colleagues. This leaves the Marketing Director feeling humiliated, professionally undermined and stressed, which may have a knock-on effect on their health, emotional well-being and personal life. According to research by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence, every year more than 13 million working days are lost in the UK due to work-related stress, anxiety and depression.

Bullying is a contributing factor: employees find it too difficult to go into work and face the continual abuse.

Although there are no laws in the UK relating to workplace bullying, there are other forms of support if you feel you are being bullied, to help you deal constructively with the situation. Firstly, tell a close friend or family member about the bullying; internalising the situation can increase the stress. Alternatively, call the Samaritans and discuss the bullying anonymously with a non-judgemental sounding board. Then if possible, approach the bully, tell them how they are making you feel, and politely ask them to stop. This may be all that is needed, but if it proves to be ineffective then the start recording all bullying instances in a diary or notebook with the times and dates as evidence. Keep emails or online messages if cyber bullying is involved. Check if your workplace has a ‘Dignity at Work’ policy with a formal procedure for dealing with employees being bullied, and speak to a manager or senior colleague to ask for their support. If the bullying persists, you can request that your HR department or a senior manager holds a mediation meeting to try to resolve the issues between you and the bully. Your recorded notes and other documents can be used to explain your case. Lastly, if all else fails and it is increasingly difficult to work harmoniously and feel safe at work, then maybe it’s time to move on and start afresh in pastures new. There’s no shame in being the bigger person and walking away; you may just inspire others to also stand firm, be true to themselves and focus on what’s more important in life.